It's funny what those little surprises in life can do to you. Something completely unexpected turning you upside down, or snapping you out of a funk that would have slowly suffocated you completely. Here's to the slap across the face of perfect refreshment. Even when it's something you would have never thought could be possible, or poignant, or perfect in essence and timing.
And how strange we are when we change. Who do we see?
I just love this tangled jumble of connections we dance around in. And cranking the rusty gears of all sorts that are left to fall into disrepair. Initial resistance, but then wonderful motion, sweet soreness of ripening, development, reawakening, pressing on out of inactivity, and back to clockwork again as if no change had ever happened.
Fluctuance.
The ebb and flow of all natural rhythms, as they are changing and you can sense the ability to acknowledge the rates and frequencies, aware of how you trail in the wake of all things.
But that shot out of the dark still does not derail you. It, in fact, even keeps you moving on the proper path... so far as you can understand. As, no matter how hard you try, you cannot and will not ever truly peer around the corner or bend, take note of the other end of the tunnel; above the surface of the dark pool.
And whoever was it that you were... no matter. Just another pupa en route to thy self.
and the birds sing and twitter as you fall asleep.
L
currently listening:
'snowy atlas mountains' - fionn regan
'pittsfield' - sufjan stevens
'little boxes' - malvina reynolds
Friday, June 27, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
skeleton key
And as things change I see them staying the same.
Always learning, always experiencing the same cycles of growth, renewal, and change.
Different backdrop, different lesson, same concept.
To be on top of the world and then between a rock and a hard place, partially wishing for what grandeur was had, and also wanting to move beyond... into the sun where you know you belong. Able to begin exploring the new, held strong by the deepest roots, and yet unable to shake being infiltrated by the past, creeping in like a cold draft as you absorb the warmth of the prospect of opportunity and growth, rasping and leeching life from you like a fungus. Learning from experience but feeling as though you got the short end of the stick, still searching for the value or take-home lesson. Hoping you're not learning the wrong one.
Realizing just how much more wisdom there is to gain, how much more you can experience, how priceless and yet cheap it all is at once. A notch in the belt, an entry in the life list. Barely a story to keep with you forever. While others do what you wish you could accomplish, you long for more freedom, even while embarking on a remarkably unique journey of your own for which others yearn. Unsure of the way to go from the here and now. Feeling rooted and wanting to fly far and wide, even beyond sight.
Wishing at times you could wipe the slate clean and take a mulligan.
The grass is always greener.
And yet all the same, not feeling that you made the wrong decisions and took the wrong path, not feeling time was wasted or life was mistaken, but wanting something to show for it, wanting to be able to have been given the clarity of thought at the onset, not wanting to have been moved forward on the valuable timeline in months so ripe with potential. And most of all wanting to be rid of the thoughts about such things. Asking for composure, completeness, mental closure. For preparedness for the new. For the wisdom and serenity that comes with experience. For the end of questions and uncertainties.
And even still never wanting the experience of change to cease, for it is then life will too. Always hoping to be in a state of flux, giving, taking, wanting, offering, leading, following, living, learning, loving. Soaking up all the good of life, and taking in the bad. Desiring to sample the diversity of the world at every turn. Happy to be turned free for all that is to come.
Ever optimistic. Ever adaptable.
L
currently listening:
"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - U2
"Handkerchiefs" - Winterpills
"Heart of the Matter" - Don Henley
"The One I Love" - Rosie Thomas feat. Sufjan Stevens
Always learning, always experiencing the same cycles of growth, renewal, and change.
Different backdrop, different lesson, same concept.
To be on top of the world and then between a rock and a hard place, partially wishing for what grandeur was had, and also wanting to move beyond... into the sun where you know you belong. Able to begin exploring the new, held strong by the deepest roots, and yet unable to shake being infiltrated by the past, creeping in like a cold draft as you absorb the warmth of the prospect of opportunity and growth, rasping and leeching life from you like a fungus. Learning from experience but feeling as though you got the short end of the stick, still searching for the value or take-home lesson. Hoping you're not learning the wrong one.
Realizing just how much more wisdom there is to gain, how much more you can experience, how priceless and yet cheap it all is at once. A notch in the belt, an entry in the life list. Barely a story to keep with you forever. While others do what you wish you could accomplish, you long for more freedom, even while embarking on a remarkably unique journey of your own for which others yearn. Unsure of the way to go from the here and now. Feeling rooted and wanting to fly far and wide, even beyond sight.
Wishing at times you could wipe the slate clean and take a mulligan.
The grass is always greener.
And yet all the same, not feeling that you made the wrong decisions and took the wrong path, not feeling time was wasted or life was mistaken, but wanting something to show for it, wanting to be able to have been given the clarity of thought at the onset, not wanting to have been moved forward on the valuable timeline in months so ripe with potential. And most of all wanting to be rid of the thoughts about such things. Asking for composure, completeness, mental closure. For preparedness for the new. For the wisdom and serenity that comes with experience. For the end of questions and uncertainties.
And even still never wanting the experience of change to cease, for it is then life will too. Always hoping to be in a state of flux, giving, taking, wanting, offering, leading, following, living, learning, loving. Soaking up all the good of life, and taking in the bad. Desiring to sample the diversity of the world at every turn. Happy to be turned free for all that is to come.
Ever optimistic. Ever adaptable.
L
currently listening:
"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - U2
"Handkerchiefs" - Winterpills
"Heart of the Matter" - Don Henley
"The One I Love" - Rosie Thomas feat. Sufjan Stevens
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