skeleton key

And as things change I see them staying the same.

Always learning, always experiencing the same cycles of growth, renewal, and change.
Different backdrop, different lesson, same concept.

To be on top of the world and then between a rock and a hard place, partially wishing for what grandeur was had, and also wanting to move beyond... into the sun where you know you belong. Able to begin exploring the new, held strong by the deepest roots, and yet unable to shake being infiltrated by the past, creeping in like a cold draft as you absorb the warmth of the prospect of opportunity and growth, rasping and leeching life from you like a fungus. Learning from experience but feeling as though you got the short end of the stick, still searching for the value or take-home lesson. Hoping you're not learning the wrong one.

Realizing just how much more wisdom there is to gain, how much more you can experience, how priceless and yet cheap it all is at once. A notch in the belt, an entry in the life list. Barely a story to keep with you forever. While others do what you wish you could accomplish, you long for more freedom, even while embarking on a remarkably unique journey of your own for which others yearn. Unsure of the way to go from the here and now. Feeling rooted and wanting to fly far and wide, even beyond sight.

Wishing at times you could wipe the slate clean and take a mulligan.

The grass is always greener.

And yet all the same, not feeling that you made the wrong decisions and took the wrong path, not feeling time was wasted or life was mistaken, but wanting something to show for it, wanting to be able to have been given the clarity of thought at the onset, not wanting to have been moved forward on the valuable timeline in months so ripe with potential. And most of all wanting to be rid of the thoughts about such things. Asking for composure, completeness, mental closure. For preparedness for the new. For the wisdom and serenity that comes with experience. For the end of questions and uncertainties.

And even still never wanting the experience of change to cease, for it is then life will too. Always hoping to be in a state of flux, giving, taking, wanting, offering, leading, following, living, learning, loving. Soaking up all the good of life, and taking in the bad. Desiring to sample the diversity of the world at every turn. Happy to be turned free for all that is to come.

Ever optimistic. Ever adaptable.
L

currently listening:
"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - U2
"Handkerchiefs" - Winterpills
"Heart of the Matter" - Don Henley
"The One I Love" - Rosie Thomas feat. Sufjan Stevens